Hitting the ripe young age of 25 has changed my perspective on a lot of things in life, shifted my priorities - but most noticeably, its turned me into a cynical, jaded moron.
If I can safely assume that at least half the people i know may not be as open as i am when it comes to admitting to flaws, failures and problems that one may have in life (I'm not a whinger, I'm just a loud mouth) Then I can probably assume that at least the other half of people i know have had an easier ride than I have when it comes to a functional up-bringing, a spoon-fed teenage/young adult life and the blessing of being able to learn mistakes the first time, having more willpower, common sense and less urge to rebel against authority/ morale/ society than I did as well as perhaps just having a touch of luck.
The beauty of experiencing failure and obstacles in life is in that first word.. "Experience" - you gain an opportunity to remember, learn and grow - you can have a precedent set out for you with a guaranteed murpheys-law stamp-of approval warning sign that states "History can and will repeat itself" next time you go down the same path.
The lesson we learn from this however, also leaves us that with that burnt memory of how it felt to fail/ lose in the first place - be it a failed relationship, career, the loss of a loved one, financial hardship etc and it's those memories that can set us up for REAL failure.
Holding on to those memories can make you lose faith and lose hope - the only two things we can rely on to keep us plugging on when the going gets tough. Lose faith in ourselves, Lose hope that love exists, lose faith in other people, lose hope that time will heal, lose faith that hard work will pay off and lose hope that good things come to people who do good deads.
Whilst i believe it is ok to allow obstacles to make you a more guarded- person, It's taken me the entire year to really acknowledge that it's not ok for them to allow you to become jaded.
Nobody likes a cynic and the first thing we need to have inbuilt in our minds is the world owes us NOTHING. Stop comparing your lives to other people and asking when is it your turn to have a spout of luck - my message can be summed up into 18 rules of life that I have recently come across, the first seven are an unknown source and the final eleven came out of the mouth of Bill Gates and whilst I'm no longer in school and this lecture was delivered in a high-school in the USA back in 2010 - I find most of them relevant.
Rule number 1.
Make Peace with your past so it doesn't screw up your present.
Rule number 2.
What others think of you is none of your business
Rule number 3.
Time heals almost everything, give it time.
Rule number 4.
Don't compare your life to others and don't judge them, you have no idea what their journey is about.
Rule number 5.
Stop thinking so much, it's alright not to know the answers, they will come to you when you least expect it.
Rule number 6.
NO ONE is in charge of your happiness except you.
Rule number 7.
Smile, you don't own all the problems of the world.
Rule number 8.
Life is not fair, get used to it.
Rule number 9.
The world doesn't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule number 10.
You will NOT earn (a high income) straight out of school, you will not be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
Rule number 11.
If you think your teacher is tough - wait till you get a boss.
Rule number 12.
Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a word for burger-flipping, they called it opportunity,
Rule number 13
If you mess up, it's not your parents fault, so don't whine about your mistakes - learn from them.
Rule number 14.
Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now - they got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talking about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rainforest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
Rule number 15.
Your school may have done away with winners and losers but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished grades and will give you as many times as you need to get the right answer. This does not resemble to ANYTHING in real life.
Rule number 16.
Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself - do that in your own time.
Rule number 17.
Television is not real life. In real life people actually leave the coffee shops and go to their jobs.
Rule number 18.
Be nice to nerds, chances are you'll end up working for one.
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